It’s kind of like looking at your own kid and thinking how there’s never been a prettier baby born on the planet than the one you built.
It’s like glancing around a really great party and realizing you’re the best hostess ever because people always have a good time when they come over.
Imagine listening to other people talk about how much they dread seeing their family and thinking, “Huh? My family’s awesome.”
I’ve been revising my first novel, After December, to send it to a publisher who read two pages and asked for more, then read 60 pages and asked for more. So wow. He’s actually going to read the whole thing.
Amazing.
It’s kind of like someone texting they plan to drop by and you realizing you should change from your jammies and ripped t-shirt into something that doesn’t look like you don’t give a fuck they’re here.
So I’ve been revising.
Full disclosure, this novel has been revised about 10 times since 2012 so it’s in pretty good shape (if I do say so myself). Anyway, I get into reading it and what usually happens is I stop making edits because I’m just reading.
Yep. Reading my own work. And loving it.
It’s like a really great workout makes you think you’re in really good shape or answering a couple of Jeopardy questions makes you feel wicked smart.
I read it and I say, “I mean, it’s really good, right?”
Then I look around, realize it’s just me, and stop saying stupid shit out loud.
Of course it needs work. Of course an editor will be brutal when it comes to that. Of course I’m tainted by seeing what I think it is instead of what is actually there.
But for now, just for now, I let myself feel that way you feel when someone else compliments your kid without knowing she’s yours.
Proud.
Unapologetically X 